There are only two things to worry about. Either you are SICK,or you are WELL.
If you are Well,then there`s nothing to worry about,but if you are SICK,there are two things to worry about.
Either you will get WELL,or you will DIE. If you get WELL,then there´s nothing to worry about.
But if you DIE,there are two things to worry about.
Either you will go to HEAVEN or you will go to HELL.
If you go to heaven,there´s nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell,YOU`LL BE SO DAMNED BUSY SHAKING HANDS WITH FRIENDS YOU WON`T HAVE TIME TO WORRY!


There's a big conference of beer producers in the most beautiful
town in the world: Amsterdam, the Netherlands.

At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer
companies decide to have a drink in a bar. The president of
'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a
Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on.

Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink,
and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.

"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."


One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and became stuck in the thick heads.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman also picked the fly out of his drink. He held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you bastard!"


when you go me on the nerven, i put you in the kanal, tu the deckel drauf and you never come back to the tageslicht


i love you so narrisch and my heart is only pumpering for you


I am Kelly Bundy of Borg: You will be assim...assim...What is that word? You know, the futile one.

We are the Beatles of Borg: We all live in a great big giant cube, a great big giant cube, a great big giant cube.

I am Caesar of Borg. I came, I saw, I assimilated.

I am Homer of Borg. Resistence is .... Ooooh, DO-NUTS.
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