brauche hilfe ich bekomme eine note auf einen aufsatz und bin mir mit der grammatik unsicher :

I consider this text to be effective because of its well figured out structure. The author starts with the quotation to make the reader curious about his article. After that he gives his introduction with the main idea behind the topic of cloning elite animals to solve the problem of hunger in the world. The following arguments are easily understandable for the reader. He enlightens the problems entailing the cloning. The author shows that there are people who are not willing to eat manipulated food this will touch the reader personally because he will start thinking about if he or she would deny eating such food, as well. But I consider the next paragraph to be even more effective because the author shows the consequences for these high-performance animals who have to suffer from their effectiveness. He gives many examples of their sufferings to make some animal-loving reader think about whether the resulting profits justices this torments. At the end he concentrates on the most effective argument that the basic purpose of feeding the world with such genetic manipulated animals will not lead to the results which were hoped for. Because the countries which would need them can not afford them. And the countries which can afford them do not necessarily need them. So there is a disparity between the purpose and the effectivity. In his last paragraph he alludes to the fact that in future there will be even more people who will suffer from hunger so there has to be a kind of revolution what he calls an “enlightened agriculture”. This calls the readers attention to the fact that this is a huge problem we will have in future and the raised possibility doesn’t seemed to be effective. So the reader things about the problem. Tudge ends his article with the same words as he had begun and now he is explaining them: so the reader gets the explanation of the first curiosity. Therefore I think this article is effective because it is easily comprehensible and it makes the reader think about the topic what should be the main objective for this article.
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